Monday, February 6, 2023

Curse of Humpty Dumpty (2022)

A group of girls is brought to an ecological caravan park to spend a week working. The experience is supposed to transform their grades, attitude and skin.  There are four rules: no chargers; no phones; do what the owner tells you; and no vehicles. 

Owner Steve, who their teacher gazes on adoringly, says they use human waste to grown their own food. The girls are not amused or happy about the salads they just ate. Lisa sneaks out that night and calls a pizza place. But when they hear where she’s calling from, they hang up.  Shortly after this, she meets Humpty Dumpty, who seems an odd looking living doll until he starts to consume her.

The next day, when the others ask where Lisa is, they’re told she left. The other girls wonder why they aren’t being allowed to leave, but nobody pushes it. Their teacher doesn’t notice Lisa is gone and seems very absent minded, which we are later told is a symptom of connection to Humpty. 

The girls are told to clean the caravans because the Mayor is coming next week.  I thought they meant inside, but they start one girl on the outside with only a rag. It takes her all day and then she’s informed she can’t stop for the night until the inside is also spotless.  

As more people disappear, the remaining girls find a book which mentions Humpty. They become suspicious of Steve and their teacher, who seems to have completely detached from making sure they are safe. It seems there is a cult based around Humpty, which is a god awful excuse for a movie.

What sort of school is this? Why is this trip a requirement? Are they teens or adults?  If they’re teens wouldn’t their parents need to sign off on this? If they’re adults, why don’t they just leave?


Ridiculous dialogue 

The more you shit, the more we eat.

I’ll have a large pepperoni and please i mean large. Large enough to get me through the next few days without having to eat shitty lettuce.

All hail Humpty. All hail Humpty.


Humpty’s rubber mask gaps in the back when he moves
Did they miss that we can see the lighting rig?
No one has lights like this in their homes
Yeah, looks like a great place to send troubled girls
Humpty’s tentacle teeth are kind of creepy
The huge pile of lettuce for dinner
The girls with a bad attitude who don’t want to be there



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