All God's Creatures (2011)

When not working as a barista at the local coffee shop, Jon spends his free time methodically planning how he'll kill his next victim.  He's got serious issues with women and enjoys strangling women he picks up at bars and hookers.  In his apartment, there is a trophy room where he keeps souvenirs from each kill, including a collection of hands in jars.

In another story soon to collide with our first story arc, Delia moves out of her stepfathers house vowing to come back for her underage sister after finding an apartment and job.  But there's not much work for a high school drop out with no resume, so Delia resorts to answering ads on Craigslist placed by lonely men looking for fun.

Originally I thought Delia said she was 18, but when her sister wants to run away I thought I heard Delia say she was 25.  I'm not sure which is correct, but if she's 25, then it's pretty odd that she's living at home and doesn't have a resume.  The actresses playing Delia and Lydia are too old to be playing teenagers so the whole thing is confusing.

I almost stopped watching this. Delia's annoying and Jon's a psycho. Both are doing things that are disturbing and the film is filled with cliches that you can see coming a mile away.  But at a certain point, I did become curious about how the relationship between Delia and Jon would progress.

Delia's got issues with men due to her abusive step dad, as well as the desperation for money causing her to resort to prostitution.  She's definitely a little off, but is she as deranged as Jon?  Jon daydreamed about killing her when they first met, and even when killing other women. Can he resist his compulsion?  Will their relationship develop into one of those dysfunctional, us against the world mentalities, or are they so damaged that they can't trust each anyone?

Class of 1999 (1990)

In the future (ahem),  there are areas referred to as free fire zones where teenage gangs have taken over and the police refuse to go.  The Department of Education and Defense have been tasked with re-opening schools in these areas. So DED representative Dr. Forrest (played by Stacey Keach with white spiky hair and a rat tail)  works with school principal Dr. Langford to provide new teachers who are adept at handling troublemakers.  The new teachers are robots who appear to be human, and will do what's necessary to keep the peace.  Oh, nothing could possibly go wrong with that plan.

Meanwhile teen gangbanger Cody Culp is released from prison with instructions to stay out of trouble and go to school, or he'll be locked up again.  This proves to be difficult since Cody's younger brother is ready to join his gang the Blackhearts, and everyone expects Cody to pick up where he left off, which is fighting against rival gang the Razorheads.  Needless to say Cody is going to have to put up with a lot of crap from both gangs and no ones going to be happy with Cody's new crime free demeanor.

To complicate matters, Cody falls for good girl Christi, the principals daughter. This is not a popular decision with his old friends. When he gets into a fight to protect Christi, Cody comes under the gaze of the new teachers, who have started taking discipline to a new level due to some sort of malfunction, as all robots tend to do. When another student tries to intervene as the gym teacher is beating the hell out of Cody, he's killed. Now Cody just needs to convince the others that the new teachers are not what they appear to be.

Teenagers... of 1999

I love watching films about the future, especially when the projected future is in the past.  It seems strange that a film that came out in 1990 would have this Mad Max styled vision of only nine years in the future.   And any film with killer robots is worth a watch, especially when Pam Grier is one of them.  

Wardrobes.... of 1999

Haircuts... of 1999

Our hero and this little brother

Battle of the Damned (2013)

How can you resist a movie with Dolph Lundgren, zombies and killer robots? You can't. You just have to watch it and hope for the best.

Dolph is Major Max Gatling, a commando hired by a wealthy industrialist to rescue his daughter Jude who is trapped in a quarantined city where a virus has been unleashed, causing people to turn into zombies.  Dolph brings a team into the city, but they don't make any progress and lose a few guys, so Dolph decides to go it alone.

When Max rescues Jude by driving up on a motorcycle as a herd of zombies sprint her way, you'd think she would be grateful. But no, because this movie follows the cliche that the person who needs rescuing is a total unappreciative ass to the person trying to help them escape.

Jude is sarcastic, rude, has a bad attitude, and never even thanks Max for saving her from zombies.  Just once I'd like to see the rescuer say, "Really? You don't want me to get you out of this town full of zombies? See ya." and leave the person right where they found them. So since Jude is a pain in the ass, we know Max is going to have to fight in order to get her out of the city to safety.

Turns out there are other survivors in the city who are all holed up in this big... place with a gate. I'm not sure why the zombies can't just open the latch on the gate, but oh well. The survivors have this weird creepy dynamic that makes you wish Max would just leave them all there to die.

So Max runs around killing zombies, trying to rescue Jude, getting handcuffed to a light pole, fighting more zombies, and then the robots show up and Max wonder if they'll kill zombies or humans, or both.  The movie is full of cliches and ridiculous things like walkie talkies going off an inopportune moments.  For a movie with both zombies and robots, it should have been better.

Is Dolph looking real bad or is this bad photoshop?

Knock Knock 2 (2011)

Four annoying twenty year olds decide to spend the night visiting the sites of famous murders in Los Angeles.  Essentially this means the viewer is watching home movies of these kids as they drive around in their car, read the history of the murders they printed off the internet, and then stand around on the sidewalk in front of the murder scenes while acting like idiots.

There are a few times where they venture down driveways, giggle, and dare each other to try the doorknobs, which makes them even bigger idiots since that would be breaking and entering.

If you're expecting excitement or scares in this film, you'd be sadly mistaken.  They don't even get into a bad situation until 50 minutes into the film, and even after that the only things that happens to them occur off screen. So other than one look at a ghost, who I mistook for one of the girls since she didn't look scary at all, there's nothing going on except an ineffective effort at psychological tension.

Ridiculous plot points provide a set up that is unsatisfying. The front door of the house they get locked in has no door knob on the inside. The house is for sale and there's no realtor in the world who wouldn't fix that issue.  Plus the windows are boarded up from the inside, and they try to rip the plywood off by pulling on it. Yet they aren't smart enough to realize that they would need to remove the 2x4s that are nailed into the wall over the plywood, prior to attempting to remove the plywood itself.

This is a sequel in name only as it has nothing to do with the first film, Knock Knock.  I have no idea why they would want to piggy back on that film since it wasn't the greatest film, but I guess I rented the movie, so what do I know.

Also if you have motion sickness, be prepared to feel a bit ill as the camera moves all over the place.  I'm not sure if they filmed this at any of the actual murder sites, but that would be a little more interesting if they did.

The Alpha Incident (1978)

Scientists examine a mystery substance brought back from Mars and decide the safest way to determine if it's dangerous is to inject it into small animals.  After things don't turn out so well, they decide the substance should be moved to a safer location.  So they decide to transport it... by train... with one biologist to check on it every few hours.... and a nosy railroad worker. You know right where this is going.

It's kind of a scifi version of Night of the Living Dead, except totally uninteresting. There's a group of people quarantined inside a train station waiting to see if they'll get rescued by the authorities  before something kills them.  I've seen enough movies to know it's never a good idea to rely on the military or the government to keep you safe if there's a possibility of some sort of outbreak.

This is really only of note because it's a film by Bill Rebane, who may be best known for MST3K's take on his film, The Giant Spider Invasion.

Bad Milo (2013)

Nice guy Duncan visits the Doctor and finds out he has a stress related intestinal issue that requires surgery.  He's advised to avoid all stress since that will aggravate his condition. Unfortunately for Duncan this turns out to be the week that each day brings unexpected changes at work, problems with his family, and the discovery that there is something more than stress causing his painful bathroom visits.

It turns out that Duncan has a monster of sorts living inside him (which he names Milo). Since Milo lives in his intestines, you can guess where he's going to come out.  When he gets stressed, Milo appears and goes after whoever is causing the stress.

The humor in the film is hit or miss. There are some really funny parts and other parts that are just ehhh.  There's a reoccurring joke that people are being killed by raccoons, which is pretty funny especially since the first guy is killed in an office building.

The music is right out of a 1980s movie and the little monster, although a vicious killer, is adorable. It's got big black eyes and when it blinks it's so cute.  There's a great cast, standouts being Ken Marino whose very likable as Duncan, Toby Huss as the Doctor, Peter Stormare as the Psychiatrist, and Patrick Warburton who's great in everything he does. 

The cuddly, cut Milo

The killer Milo

Cathys Curse (1977)

After a heart warming opening in which her mother runs off with her brother George, Laura and her father burn to death in a car crash.  Then the film jumps years ahead to Cathy, her mother, and her father (the grown up George) moving into the old family estate. 

Almost immediately there are shenanigans after Cathy finds an old doll in the attic and starts acting strange.  As far as dolls go, it's not very creepy looking, but her mother keeps calling it a dirty rag which is odd. But then again her mother begins the stay at the new house by angrily saying to her husband, "You know and I know I've had a nervous breakdown."  Sadly this doesn't account for her annoying shrill voice, but I suppose it doesn't help either.

Cathy seems to have developed strange powers since she can make things break by looking at them.  Also when advancing menacingly  at people with her old doll held out in front of her at arms length, people seem to die. Plus she can disappear and appear at will, which she does in one scene when her mother yells at her. No one shall ask why her mother is more concerned with Cathy answering her questions than the fact that Cathy is teleporting all over the hallway.

In some scenes, there seems to be obvious foreshadowing which ends up going nowhere: the mother says they need to oil the attic door so no one gets locked in; a medium has a vision of Laura's death and has various bad experiences with Cathy; and once the pictures eyes glow green, an old lady appears in the attic and harasses the medium. Who the hell is she and where did she come from?  Sadly we'll never know.

I've wanted to see this since I saw the poster which is pretty cool.  The copy of the film on the Chilling Classics set is really rough, and the first part of the movie is downright bad so I'm glad I stuck it out.

Be prepared for multiple murders, a crazy mother, a clueless father, and Cathy dragging a stupid doll around while looking as evil as she can with a cute face and long blond hair.  This is an okay evil kid movie, although it's not much different from any other evil kid movies since no one thinks, hmmmm   perhaps something is wrong with this kid since she's always at the scenes of these deaths, she's acting like a creepy jerk, and doing horrible things to people while teleporting and breaking things with her mind.

Say what, now?

Yeah, I'm cutely evil

She's so washed out she's like an android or Mr. Data

Dig the crazy 70s wallpaper

It's never a good sign when a pictures eyes glow green

Mick Fleetwood is not amused.

Nervous Breakdown + Faucet of Blood....  inexplicably equals Leeches?

House of the Dead (1978)

aka Alien Zone

A man having an affair catches a taxi back to his hotel, but gets dropped off on the wrong street.  It's late at night and no ones around, so he finds a doorway to duck out the rain.  A man who turns out to be a mortician invites him in and tells shows off his  latest four customers.

Ms. Sibiler is an angry woman who hates kids, which makes her career choice an unfortunate one since she's an elementary school teacher. When she gets home from work, she finds the neighborhood unnaturally quiet.  When she tries to relax, odd things start to happen and she fears someone is in the house. As in all anthologies with angry women yelling at children, you know it won't turn out well.

In story number two, Mr. Growski is a creep with a movie camera   in his living room which he uses to discretely film the women he invites to his apartment.  The segment starts with him being arrested but there is never any reason offered for his behavior or exposition regarding how he gets caught. Also why wold a woman on a blind date go to a man's apartment and agree to take off her pantyhose when he says he need them to show her a magic trick. When he gets all pouty because he only wants to do that one trick, it's a sign that something is seriously wrong here.

Story number three pits Chief Detective Toliver, the best detective in the US, against Inspector McDowal, the best in Scotland yard.  Rolling Stone has called them the world's leading criminologists and the both want to prove they are better than the other. Yes, because I always read Rolling Stone to find out who is the best at solving crimes.  

Lastly, in a world full of big mustaches, Cantwell proves that the bigger the mustache, the bigger the jerk. He is always aggravated at everyone and everything. He even disses his coworker Dan who asks him to go to lunch at a place that has 23 different kinds of hamburgers. How could he pass that up?  Wouldn't you know it, Cantwell should have gone to the hamburger joint since he ends up locked in a empty storefront which leads to injury, psychological torture, and many bottles of wine.

The has a Night Gallery feel since you know there's always going to be some nasty well deserved ending for the characters.  Also why was the original title Alien Zone?  There are no aliens in this film, and it's totally misleading.  While this was fairly pedestrian, I liked it better than Haunts.

Thrill to the sound of the theme song titled, The Sound of Goodbye, which reminds me of the Love Theme from Bog.  It contains lyrics that are totally inappropriate for a horror movie, the most memorable being in the chorus, "The saddest melody is the sound of goodbye."  How does that work into this mess of murder and morticians?

The days before only hot co-eds took showers

Old Halloween masks rule. What are those, wax teeth?
Watch for the kid that drools when he lifts his mask. 

You want my pantyhose? Nothing awkward about that. 

It's Dr. Bombay!

Cubicles of the 70s

The era of big mustaches

Haunts (1977)

Inga lives on a farm with a goat, and sometimes has unsettling flashbacks. She's very religious and doesn't trust men, which is a good idea based on the guys in her town who are drunks, creeps, rapists, and at least one killer.  Even the local Priest is fairly unsympathetic when she asks for help in how to mentally deal with a sexual assault.  You'll be fine Inga, just pray it away.

Then there is the issue Inga's Swedish accent, which no one else has, even her Uncle Carl.  This is ridiculously explained away by stating it is due to her years at an orphanage where the staff were from overseas. So..... did all the kids at this orphanage end up with Swedish accents?

Poor Inga seems to be a magnet for psychos and perverts, what with the unwanted attention from the butcher, the new guy in town who wants to walk her home, and her creepy Uncle. Plus her sewing scissors are missing and Uncle Carl is the only person who was in the house.  Damn, what next?

When there's a murder in town, Sheriff Patterson drives out to the farm to make sure Inga has locked her windows and doors. When he asks Inga if anyone has been out to the house, she says no, which is odd since her Uncle Carl was helping around the place.

After another murder in town, Inga is attacked near her house.  She's hysterical, crying, and her clothes are dirty and disheveled.  But does Uncle Carl protect her or look outside to make sure she's safe? Nah, he just tells her she's confused and it must have been a rabbit.  Since this isn't Night of the Lepus, this lets us know that Uncle Carl is a dick.

The Sheriff isn't much help either since when she calls to report she's just been attacked, he says he'll be over the next day. He also asks if she's locked her doors, and she scurries off because she hasn't. Damn it, Inga! What the hell?!?  Waiting until the next day is an odd reaction since several women have already been murdered in this small town.  Well, doesn't the Sheriff feel stupid the next day when Inga finds a dead body in her backyard.

I didn't enjoy this one at all.  It's slow moving and most of the characters aren't likable.  The women in the film are all getting smacked around, raped, killed, and treated like they're idiots.  The men aren't  much better since they're all portrayed as uncaring jerks.  But the biggest question I have is do we really need a scene with Sheriff Patterson kneeling in front of the toilet and pulling his head out of the bowl?  His bangs are even wet. Bleeeech!

Zombie Hunter (2013)

Wow, not much of a plot in this one.  Hunter drives around killing zombies because he's filled with hate. After being shot by  other survivors, who tend to his wound once they realize he's not a zombie (which they could have figured out since he was driving a freakin' car at at the time), he ends up bunking with them since his car is a wreck.

We start with six survivors besides Hunter, but as they try to escape the zombies who are overrunning their hideout, people start dropping like flies. Danny Trejo is a bad ass preacher with a huge ax.  There is also a nice girl and her teenage brother, a sleazy girl who knows how to use a stripper pole (why would that even in the warehouse breakroom?), a stupid fat guy, and a guy I can't even remember.

The movie starts with brief mention of a drug that people shoot up, which seems to be the cause of the zombie outbreak, but it isn't really mentioned again.  There is a confusing point where a teen peruses an adult magazine and a light the color of zombie blood shines on him. Wait, so reading adult mags makes you a zombie?  What's the significance of this? Apparently nothing since it doesn't factor into the story again.

So if you like to see people running from zombies and killing zombies, without really any other plot points, and a shirtless Danny Trejo waving a huge ax, then this is the movie for you. Hmm, that actually makes it sound better than it was.

Pulse (2001)

If there's two things you can count on, it's when there's a forbidden room everyone will want to go in it and when there is a chance of being killed if you're alone, everyone will split up and wander off by themselves.

After one of their coworkers commits suicide, a group of friends reviewing a disc that he had been working on and find a view of him standing in his room in front of his computer with a ghostly face on the screen.  It's pretty damn odd and creepy.

Meanwhile college student Kawashima decides it's time to get on the internet. But when his computer connects to the net by itself and asks "do you want to meet a ghost", he understandably freaks out.  The next day he goes to the college computer lab to seek help as to what happened.

I didn't know anything about this movie except that the cover said it was the scariest film of the year and it was Asian. So that seemed like a good bet.  But I did neglect to check what year it came out, so for all I knew it could have been from the 1950s which was not so scary.  It was only when I  heard the modem connecting to the net that I went, wait a minute how old is this film?

It's got an interesting premise which involves ghosts entering our world because the place that souls end up is full. There is also the subject of loneliness and the fear of being alone.  As the populace starts disappearing, people become more alone with their fears.  Forbidden rooms - which can be identified because they are sealed with red tape around the door - are popping up all over the place, and some idiot always has to go in them.

There were some super creepy things, like a black human shaped smudge on the walls where someone died, or inside the forbidden room, or the ghosts on the internet.  But even though those were very unnerving, overall it wasn't that scary.  It had some interesting concepts, but didn't move me.

The Driller Killer (1979)

An annoying starving artist - i.e., a guy with an over inflated sense of his own talent who is supported by others so he can concentrate on his art - hangs around with the two girls he lives with, tries to paint, has no money for his rent, and is irritated by the punk band who rented the downstairs apartment as a practice space.

His plan is to finish a massive canvas with a painting of a bull's head and sell it to a local gallery owner.  But when the owner calls bullshit on his crappy painting, our artist looses it and figures he can do better work with his power drill.  He thanks Jesus for seeing a commercial for the Porta Pack which offers electricity anywhere he goes, and commences drilling anything that bothers him.

This was pretty slow moving and had lots of filler, including  punk band Tony Coca-cola and the Roosters, which includes a scene in which they rip off the Peter Gunn Theme.  Damn, everyone into punk wore those plastic sunglasses.

There were some scenes filmed at Max's Kansas City, which is pretty cool, and there's footage of the seedy part of New York from the 1970s.  But other than that, most of the movie doesn't include any drilling or killing, and moves at a snails pace.

Ghoulies III: Ghoulies Go to College (1990)

I was very excited to find this 8 pack because its all 80s and 90s horror films, as opposed to the majority of horror packs that are new, crappy, amateur, no budget films that are pretty much unwatchable.  I was even more excited when I saw the Vestron logo on the screen. When rental stores were getting rid of their VHS tapes, I used to haunt Ebay for Vestron titles because there was a good chance it would some b-movie fun.  This one though....

This is essentially a comedy about two frats competing to win the prank crown on campus, while the Ghoulies go crazy and do evil things.  It's got all the cliches you could want, by the numbers comedy, and a few deaths thrown in.  I don't remember any blood in the entire film.

A frat boy finds an old comic and begins reading a verse out loud, which is the beginning of the spell to summon the Ghoulies, who rise out of an ornate toilet in the frat bathroom.  After a professor confiscates the comic during class, the professor ends up flipping through it one night after grading exams. While reciting the verse within, he  calls forth the Ghoulies, even though the prof is in his office and the Ghoulies toilet is in the frat house.

Instead of being scary, the puppet Ghoulies are right out of an old Three Stooges short. In fact they even do a line from the Niagara Falls routine, "Slowly I turn...."  They spout quips and you can guess the obvious punch lines even before they say them.  After makes jokes, they vandalize things on campus and the frats get blamed.

Since this is essentially a teen comedy you can expect the typical cliches, such as: a rivalry between an  uptight rich frat and a screw up frat; lots of pranks (which they refer to as yanks); a competition over a girl;  a screw up who learns what's really important in life;  a dean who hates the screw ups; the rich frat who sets up the screw ups to try to get them expelled; and all the kids like to party.

It's a silly comedy which isn't any funnier than any other average college frat comedy that came in the wake of Animal House.

Jason Scott Lee as the Asian guy who's into his stereo system
Matthew Lillard as nerd with bowtie, briefcase, and glasses strap
Patrick Labyorteaux as cool guy Mookie

Extreme Justice (1993)

The movie starts off with the best police cliche ever when we find out that Jeff Powers is a loose cannon and Internal Affairs wants him to turn in his badge. Oh yeah!  But fortunately for him the S.I.S., a secret agency of the L.A.P.D., recruits him to join their team.

S.I.S. is lead by Dan Vaughn, who was  Powers first partner, and he's recommended Powers for the team.  Now he just has to convince the other guys that this is a good idea.  You see, Powers is a show boater and he doesn't follow the rules - which of course is why he's classified as a loose cannon - but the S.I.S. needs him to tow the line and do exactly what he's told to do. No one shall ask why they think he can actually do this since he's never done it before.

The purpose of the S.I.S. is to take repeat offenders off the street, which seems like a noble cause until we discover that the team seems to kill more of their targets than they arrest. In fact, I'm not sure if they arrest anyone. So much for being discrete.

Powers girlfriend Kelly is an annoying ace reporter who gets wind that something is not quite what it seems when the S.I.S. takes out a group of bank robbers, and there are some civilian casualties in the mix. Nosey Kelly smells a front page story and starts following Vaughn once she figures out he's in  control of the crime scene, but won't talk to her or even give her his name.

If you know action movie cliches, you know what this is going to come down to, and where Powers and Vaughn will stand regarding what's right and what's wrong.  Overall it's a fun watch, although Lou Diamond Phillips hair is so long, feathered, and puffy that it often looks like he's wearing a fur collar. And Scott Glenn has slicked back hair and a porno mustache, which put together make him look sort of like a child molester.  Also watch for the massive tan line across Glenn's forehead. I'm guessing he spent a lot of time wearing a hat or a headband, (well it was the early 90s).

Panic (1982)

After an accident in the lab, Dr. Adams and the guinea pig disappear.  His assistants aren't concerned about Adams as he could have gone fishing. They're more concerned about the guinea pig that, due to the experimental serum, could have increased in size to be bigger than a lion.

Meanwhile there's a killer on the loose who is slashing up whoever he can get his hands on, or is it get his paws on?  Dr. Adams assistants neglect to mention the guinea pig to the police, who are too busy searching for Adams to look for the potentially giant beastie anyway.

Soon the town's phone and TV signals are cut off by the military, and everyone starts going stir crazy.  They all want out of town but there's a roadblock, and the head of the lab is making mysterious phone calls regarding eliminating the contagion since if it gets out of town no one will be safe.

Also they bring up Plan Q, which involves the total destruction of everyone and everything in the town.  Not sure how they're going to get away with that, but if your top secret experiment involves destroying an entire town as a way of containment, then you damn well better be more careful regarding lab safety.

This is one of those horror movies where there's lots of boring talk, but not much action and very little monster.  On the plus side there is a teenager wearing a cravat who is never mentioned again after his appearance, and one of the main characters is named Captain Kirk.

Ridiculous dialogue:
Captain Kirk - You're not alone, are you?
Sergeant - I'm sorry, but I only have two men under me. I'm chasing a homicidal maniac.

Monstroid: It Came from the Lake (1980)

aka Monster

Durado Cement Plant in Columbia is owned by a US corporation and disposes of it's waste in local waterways.  They try to keep it under wraps but annoying ace reporter Patty Clark is giving the company bad press by reporting on what is actually happening.  So sexist company man Mr. Barnes (who I'm pretty sure keeps  putting his hand on his secretary's ass) sends Bill Travis to check on the situation.

Meanwhile Glenn and his sister (the children of the writer/director) set out to prove they really did see a monster by bringing a camera to the beach and using sonar to call the monster.  Not the best idea, since it's a huge creature with sharp teeth, but what the heck, kids do stupid things.

The monster kills people, Glenn's hair changes length, John Carradine preaches, and Jim Mitchum wears sunglasses and a gold pendant.  All of this is surrounded by a whole lot of nothing.

The movie says it's based on a true story. Really?  If you're talking about a Columbian river being polluted by a US plant, then I'll buy it. But if you're saying that there was a huge monster and you tried to get rid of it by dragging a poor sheep filled with dynamite over the surface of the ocean, then I'll have to pass.

Ridiculous Dialogue:

"You know how they are out here - easily influenced." wife of some bigshot, who also calls the natives backwards

"...couldn't we trap it or shoot it, or blow it up?" - Bill Travis

"It's as big as a whale!" - Bill Travis, (only funny because it reminds me of Fred Schneider of the B 52's singing Love Shack)

Hey movie, why the quotation marks?

Always good to include your actors head shot in the film

Nothing awkward here

How did they even get this stuff out there?

He's no Magnum P.I.

Pete's beautiful charcoal hobo beard

They put her on the OUTSIDE of the helicopter?!

Their brilliant plan includes a helicopter and bait

Monstroid

Looks like Glenn grew up during the filming

The Howling (1981)

Last weekend I was flipping through the channels when I stumbled across a film with werewolves and Dee Wallace.  Seemed like a good bet, but either the passage of time or a change in taste has left me thinking this is not as good as I remember.

Upon recommendation from her therapist, reporter Karen (who was recently stalked by a serial killer) and her husband Bill go away to the Colony for some rest.  But they've picked the wrong place to relax since the other guests are werewolves.

Wouldn't a werewolf resort be more careful about who they let in? And how could Karen and Bill not be suspicious of a place called the Colony? It sounds like a cult.

I prefer make up and special effects to CGI. The transformations  involve using bladders to make the faces pulsate which still looks cool.  The werewolf suits are dated and not all that scary, and the  werewolf at the end is more like a little dog than a beast.

Shadow People (2013)

Charlie is a Dj with a late night call in radio show whose ratings are so bad he's in danger of cancellation. One night a teenager named Jeff calls in talking of shadow people and sounding like he's all hopped up on goofballs.  After a brief conversation, Charlie decides Jeff's a loon and hangs up.

The next day Charlie finds a package on his doorstep. It's from Jeff and includes a notebook with drawings and writings about shadow people. Surprisingly Charlie is not alarmed that this kid knows where he lives.

That night Jeff calls in again to ask if he's read the information, and says if you think of them, they'll come for you.  After Jeff ends up shot, interest in Charlie's show explodes due to the injury happening while they were on the air.  Conspiracy theorists come out of the woodwork to talk to Charlie.  Even the CDC gets in on the action after multiple deaths of healthy people perk their interest.  And since Charlie is the common denominator in the Sudden Unexplained Nocturnal Death Syndrome, they begin an investigation to determine why.

Charlie insists he has proof of shadow people, but all he has is 17 year old Jeffs notebook with drawings and freak out writings, along with an old film of a sleep study.  Nope, not proof.  Also if thinking about shadow people makes them come to get you, then why aren't they all over Charlie? He's thinking and speaking aboaut them 24/7, yet he's still okay. Is he such a loser that even the shadow people don't want him?

There's nothing new about this as the cliches include: divorced dad who doesn't get along with ex and doesn't make time for kid; an ex who remarries to someone well off while dad lives in squalor; a DJ that has no listeners until he exploits a tragedy; strange things happen to conspiracy theorists; and a pivotal point where an ethical decision needs to be made but doing what's right will result in public humiliation.

Supposedly a true story with reenacted footage interspersed with interviews and archival footage of the real participants.  Yes, supposedly true, but decidely not since an internet search does not turn up any supporting documentation of this story.  The strangest thing is that my friend Tristan swears he didn't put this in his queue. So why was he sent this dvd? Shadow people shenanigans, perhaps?

Candyman 3: Day of the Dead (1999)

Caroline, a descendent of the Candyman, decides that the best way to show Candyman was just a regular guy and not some crazy hook handed serial killer, is to do a show of his paintings at a local gallery.  Did I miss that he was a painter? I don't remember that in either of the other films.

But the gallery owner decides to play up the serial killer angle to advertise the show. So along with regular art lovers, a gang of dopey goth-punks show up to gaze in worship at the paintings because they've adopted Candyman as their patron saint of sorts.

During the opening, the gallery owner dares Caroline to call Candyman. Since Carolines goal was to show him in a human light, you'd think that she wouldn't succumb to his mediocre manipulative challenge, but she caves to the peer pressure and makes the mistake of a lifetime.

Soon Candyman is following Caroline around asking her to join him, the paintings are stolen by the dopey gang, and a cop with numerous write ups for abusive and psychotic behavior takes the case.  Unfortunately for Caroline, the racist cop likes her and gets all bent out of shape when she date Daniel, who is not a Caucasian (gasp!)

This third chapter in the Candyman saga takes place in Los Angeles, and Caroline is played by Donna D'Errico who is known for Baywatch. There is an attempt to add a creepy atmosphere by using a Day of the Dead celebration, but let's face it, that is not as scary as the first movie which took place in the Cabrini Green projects in Chicago.  In fact, it's not scary at all.

Caroline spends most of the movie shaking nervously, awkwardly puffing on a cigarette, and being accused of the slew murders that are happening all around her.  There's nothing exciting about this movie and you don't care about any of the characters.  If you're up for a Candyman movie, stick with the first one.