Sunday, August 10, 2014

Alien Abduction (2014)

Oh my god, can someone please explain to filmmakers that just because something is supposed to be handheld footage, it doesn't mean it needs to appear to be shot by a chimp afflicted with tremors?  Fifteen minutes into this thing I was completely motion sick and had to avert my gaze to keep from vomiting. So unless this is some brilliant piece of film making, which it isn't, they're already on my bad side.

The Morris family decides to go camping and heads to Brown Mountain in North Carolina.  Eleven year old Riley records the family vacation. The movie states Riley is autistic, but you'd never know it since he doesn't display any signs and interacts with his family like any normal kid.

The first night Riley notices lights outside the tent, and convinces his older brother and sister to investigate. They see lights in the sky which appear to be UFOs, based on the way they move.

The next day the family heads to another location and gets lost on the twisting mountain roads.  The GPS goes bonkers and their cell phones can't get a signal.  This causes an unusual amount of concern. It appears the family doesn't realize that there are remote places in the US which can't get a signal.  They also don't realize that when driving in remote areas, it's a good idea to keep your eye on the gas tank to ensure you can get to the next town.  I've done several cross country trips and you always calculate how far between towns, how much your tank holds, and fill up early to make sure you don't run out. It's just common sense.  Then again, the family didn't bring a map in case their GPS didn't have a signal so they're not the most logical people.

As the family argues about where they are, how much gas they have, and Dad's bad driving, they come upon a car haphazardly at the side of the road. It's door are open and there are no people to be seen. Around the corner are two more cars.  Then a mess of cars abandoned in the same manner are blocking a tunnel through the mountain.

Since they don't have enough gas to go back the way they came, the father decides to investigate, insisting that the people must be nearby.  No one shall ask why multiple abandoned cars blocking the road wouldn't alert them to the possibility that something horrible has happened and they need to get the hell away as soon as possible.

The dad, who resembles Zach Galifianakis, sees someone on the other side of the tunnel and shouts to it.  Yes, because when I find a road with abandoned cars blocking it, I don't err on the side of caution. Any person-like shape must be a friendly face, not some hillbilly cannibal, aliens, the government, a zombie, or whatever caused all the cars to be abandoned.

Alright, the alien appears, it screeches, dad is scared.... and we shut the damn thing off. I was nauseous and my friends thought it was everything wrong with film making.  Tristan stated if he taught a film class he would use this as how not to make a film, and compare it to Dark Skies which he thought was a good film. I haven't seen that so I can't weigh in on that opinion.  But found footage films need to figure out not only how to shoot so it doesn't give someone motion sickness, but also how to tell a damn story.  Watching a family argue about Dad's driving doesn't make interesting video. It's just like being trapped in a car with a bunch of unpleasant people.

No comments: