Tuesday, August 12, 2014

Sleeping Beauty (2014)

Casper van Dien is a King with a terrible accent. His real wife and daughter play the Queen and Princess, which makes me think they saw a cool castle while on vacation and decided to find funding for a movie and pulled a Will Smith by casting their child.

When the Princess is a baby, a witch casts a spell that when she's sixteen, she will prick her finger on a spindle and fall into a coma, as well as the entire kingdom.  The good witches counter that spell stating she will be woken by the kiss of a Prince.

Naturally the King gets rid of every spindle in the Kingdom.  He also locks the Princess in a tower until her sixteenth birthday, at which time there is a huge feast and she's allowed out.

I swear the witch said when she was 16, but the family believes the spindle incident is to happen prior to age 16.  Is this an issue of continuity, or purposely done? No idea.  Of course, the Princess is a stupid teenager and on her first night of freedom, she sticks her finger on a spindle, falls into a deep sleep and takes the Kingdom down with her.

One hundred years later, the cowardly nasty Prince Jayson's whipping boy, Barrow, has pieced together a map showing how to get to the castle in her kingdom.  When the Prince gets hold of this, he and his thugs drag Barrow with them on their journey to claim the Kingdom and kiss the Princess.
Of course we all know fairy tales don't let cowardly princes win the hand of the fair Princess.

This is another film by The Asylum.  Nuff said.

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