Friday, December 26, 2014

Posed for Murder (1989)

Laura is a former centerfold for Thrill magazine who is trying to become an actress.  She works out at the gym and goes to auditions for low budget horror movies.  Everywhere she goes, men hit on her and recognize her from her centerfold, (even though she's sometimes wearing some pretty dumpy outfits).

When the owner of the magazine tells her she's going to be the Thrill of the Year and they need another nude layout, she balks.  She's not interested in doing nude photo shoots anymore. But his insistence that she owes him and it will help her acting career, plus her mom being out of some expensive medication, leads Laura to accept the offer. So be prepared for lots of silly expressions which betray that Laura was in fact a real Playboy Playmate.  Yup, she easily pulls out that silly face which says, "oh my, you happened to catch me naked, I'm so surprised!"

Meanwhile a heavy breathing stalker (is there any other type) is following her around killing anyone who hits on her, looks at her, or is her friend.  Who could the killer be?  The sketchy gym owner who tells everyone a Thrill girl is working out at his gym?  The creepy janitor who has a wall full of nude photos?  The tiny lunkhead weight lifter who harassed her at the gym?  The bigger lunkhead weightlifter who put the first lunkhead up to the harrassment so he could rescue her from a creep?  Her ex-boyfriend who just got out of jail after a five year stint and desperately wants to see her?  The sleazy director of the horror flick who recognizes her as a Thrill girl and insists on having her home number? The only person we know it's not is the police detective who does everything by the book.

This is a fairly lightweight movie. It's a thriller without any thrills.  Laura spends most of her time being confused and seeking comfort from a muscle bound, mulleted man who informs her he used to be a cop.  He was kicked off the police force after killing some bad guys without identify himself as a policeman.  He blames that stupid detective who is working Laura's stalker case. You know, the guy who always does stuff by the book, (and looks like a model).

Laura proves to have minimal cranium functioning when, instead of being pleased that a competent detective is running her case, she decides he's a terrible cop because he treated her boyfriend so badly.  It never occurs to her that if her boyfriend got kicked off the police force and hates the guy who follows the law, then maybe her beloved lunkhead is the real problem. Yes, Laura proves to be quite dense when she ups ante by seriously telling the horror movie director that she'll do nudity as long as it's essential to the storyline.

No comments: