Thursday, March 12, 2015

Swamp Zombies (2004)

A Doctor doing secret experiments with corpses - isn't that always the way? - is alarmed to hear that an agent from the government is there to do an inspection.  The stranger literally says, "I'm Agent Schiller with the Federal Government," but no one blinks an eye or even questions why he doesn't identify himself as being from a specific branch of the government.  It's not a plot point, just bad writing.

The Doctor hires two thugs to get rid of the bodies, and asks them to take the bodies to the lake and bury them deep.  I'm not sure how they are supposed to bury them in the lake, but the thugs don't seem to have any questions about these instructions. So they may not be too bright.

Meanwhile a group of college students and their professor are heading into the swamp for an overnight trip.  Also in the swamp, we have a pot farmer and his girlfriend, who are spending a night in a tent to keep an eye on their crop.  There's also a swamp hermit, and a couple of fishermen who borrowed a walkie talkie from a friendly ponytailed ranger who likes to practice martial arts while not wearing a shirt.  Plus a large lady ranger who should not have been called on to do stunt work.  So there are plenty of victims for the taking when the corpses come to life and rise from the swamp...lake...whatever.

This is a very low budget movie in every sense of the word. The sound appears to have been recorded by the mic on the camera, and ambient noise often drown out the dialogue.  The video looks any homemade movie you've ever seen, and the acting is on par with the homemade style of the video.  The most horrifying thing about this film is that it was originally three hours and was then cut down to just two... two very, very long hours.

Ridiculous dialogue:

He was in a rather vicious house fire.

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