Saturday, June 29, 2013

Deadly Instincts (1997)

aka Breeders

A meteor lands on a college campus, crashes through the Earth's crust and promptly deposits a monster plus a girl scantily clad in a revealing leather outfit. The school Principal and the police aren't quite sure what to do, so the janitor cleans up and sweeps debris into the hole left by the crash.  While doing so, he notices some shiny objects in the hole and jumps in to grab them.

Soon almost all the girls on campus are wearing pendants made out of whatever the hell he found - moon rocks? space plastic? radioactive gemstones? Whatever.  It's an all girls school so there's one hell of a lot of pendants around.

Ashley, studly professor  - and possibly only professor - on campus, hooks up with Louise, one of his students, which irritates the principal since she likes Ashley.  Ashley and Louise notice that Jack the janitor and Louises friend (who is sleeping with Jack) have disappeared. They check out the janitors room and notice some blood and a section of the wall knocked down which reveals tunnels.  With several people missing, the police suspect Ashley since each has a connection to him.

Ashley sees the space girl a few times and is fixated on her.  She says she's trying to stop the alien monster, but all she's done so far is scream for help and run away from anyone who talks to her.

Oh my god, how can this movie still have 45 minutes left?  I feel like I've been watching it for an hour and a half. I checked the time because I thought it must only have a minute or two left. Good god! I don't know how I'm going to get through this.  It's competent enough that it's not laughably bad, but it's not interesting enough to be good.  I did manage to get through it, but it's more a movie you zone out to than actively enjoy.

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