Monday, June 17, 2013

Nudist Shorts (1920s - 1960s)

Well, I mentioned the Beast That Killed Women DVD a week or so ago.  I figured I'd mention the extras since I'm never going to search out nudist films and they're really odd.  Plus there are far more gorillas in these than you would expect, considering that I would expect none.

According to these movies, nudists do the following things: leap frog; jump rope; mini golf; swing; horseback ride; greco roman wrestling; ping pong; volleyball; lie in hammocks; badminton; dive; model fur; horseshoes; ride hobby horses; march in a chorus line; dance with gorillas; get manhandled by gorillas; fencing; laundry; outdoor showering; chess; barbeque; picnic; and rock climbing.

Bring 'Em Back Nude (1920s)
A woman who is house sitting finds a note stating, "I'm on a trip to Africa, make yourself at home." So  she immediately disrobes, puts on a shear dress, and begins to read the five year diary the owner left on the end table. What could be more comfortable than that? There's jungle footage, a native guide in a top hat and good god, here comes the guy in the gorilla suit.  I guess it was all a dream, but who's that grinning man standing over her?  Well at least he's not a gorilla. This is a silent film.

Exposure on the Nudist Racket (1938)
There's a narrator who let's us know that nudists do not tolerate judgement of beauty or attractiveness. Faces or features may not be ideal, but it's okay as not everyone looks good with clothes on either. Well that sounds pretty judgemental. And  if they don't judge people then why does our narrator keep insulting Fanny, an obese woman? There's lots of judgement here.  Thrill as you see nudists do a large variety of athletic events, including horseback ride, greco roman wrestling (your nuts are exposed), and leap frog, ewww!

Nude Ranch (1940s)
Nudist ladies dressed as cowboys - hat, neckerchief, boots, apron - ride hobby horses, play badminton, ping pong, horseshoes, watch chickens, and sing dumb songs.

Beauty and the Beast
Uh oh, it's gorilla time again. A veil wearing chick dancing on stage is manhandled by a gorilla for most of this short. Ugh, stop touching her, you damn dirty ape.  Now she's naked except for strange  underwear, high heels, and a pine cone sticking out of her crotch. Ugh. I'm not sure what's more disturbing, her outfit or the gorilla.

Back to Nature (1956)
If you want to see what nudists do for fun, this is the film for you. In this washed out color short, nudists are... oh my god they're fencing!!  Of all the stupid things to do naked, fencing has got to be up there.  This is just nudists doing stuff - naked outdoor showering, chess, swinging, bbq'ing, picnicking, eating dinner and rock climbing.

Nudist Fashion Show (1960s)
Chicks with high 1960s hair model furs while naked. So yup, it's naked fur wearing. I really hope they aren't planning on selling those coats. I don't want to buy anything new that had someones naked butt on it.

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