Tuesday, June 11, 2013

The Slaughterhouse Massacre (2005)

This film is so disjointed and full of padding that we couldn't make it through it. No, let's correct that statement. I watch plenty of movies that make no sense and are full of padding. This was just plain uninteresting.

A young couple goes to a slaughterhouse to have sex because the girl says it turns her on to do it where defenseless animals are killed. Yeah.... might be time to find a new girlfriend. What type of freak wants to have sex there?

Even though it's lit and obviously an active workplace, the two  idiots wander in, and eventually start doing it in the chicken killing room on the wet floor. I'm sure they'll fine. There's no type of bacteria you can get from raw chickens, geesh!

Ten years later unlikeable college students at the lamest party ever blather on and pad the film with the legend of the slaughterhouse haunting.  The chicken worker, named Sickle, was supposedly killed the night the couple went there to have sex.  He'd sexually assaulted a girl and since the law didn't do anything about it, Sickle is hung by her boyfriend and his friends. But he fell into the chicken dunking water when the rope broke and was resurrected... somehow... electrically. Why does this make me think there should be a sequel,  Slaughterhouse 2: Electric Boogaloo?

The footage of the young couple who go to the slaughterhouse to have sex is repeated within the first thirty minutes. It's confusing since now we're told Sickle was already dead when they go there.  But the earlier footage cut between the couple walking through the slaughterhouse and Sickle smacking the chicken carcasses around which made it appear he was alive and fine.

I couldn't figure out if the characters were supposed to be in high school or college. They look way too old for either, but since they referred to the school grounds as a campus, I am guessing they were supposed to be college students.

Check your camera work, people.  Due to the way the beheading scene was shot, it appears as if the  head floats up to the ceiling rather than fall to the floor.  Just because you find an angle artistic doesn't mean it will translate well to the audience.

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