Tuesday, September 10, 2013

Axe Giant: The Wrath of Paul Bunyan (2013)

A bunch of kids in an alternative program for juvenile offenders  grouse about having to do community service showing that none of them have the intelligence to realize it's a much better option than going to jail.

The deputy in charge is a hard ass, the social worker with them is naive, and the idiot kids are really annoying. (If this is a punishment, then why do they have their cell phones?)

Crazy Joe Estevez chews the scenery while living in the woods nearby and spooks everyone by showing up out of nowhere.  The deputy doesn't like him and shoos him away.  But as usual you should always take the crazy guy into consideration when there are strange stories about the woods.

As the kids sit down to eat lunch and gripe about their plight, one guy decides he's leaving. While trying to find his way out of the woods, he finds a huge animal skull sitting in what turns out to be a burial site.  He steals a horn from the skull, which is a mistake as big old weirdo Paul Bunyan decides to come back for revenge. Maybe if Bunyan had buried his ox under the ground he wouldn't have this problem.

Now what I was expecting was the typical manly bearded lumberjack of legend, but instead we get this shirtless mutant freak who is an ageless killer.  Based on Dan Haggerty's role as Grizzly Adams in the 1970s TV show, I expected him to be Paul Bunyan. But that's pretty silly since he's around 70 years old now, and seems a bit fragile and appears to have a limp.

In the opening 1800s flashback storyline, watch for the seriously bad looking ox carcass they are roasting on a spit. It's either plaster or papermache and incredibly fake looking. There is also a very fake spray painted axe.  Plus watch the entire camp eat from colored plastic plates!  Yes, it certainly is the 1800s.

I was hoping for the best, but this is pretty painful to get through.

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