Thursday, February 14, 2013
Lovers Lane (2000)
A group of high school students decide to have their own party rather than attend the school's annual Valentines dance. Chloe, recently jilted by Michael and really pissed off about it, gets Michael's friend Doug to drive Michael up to lovers lane to catch her in the act with his other friend Brad. Since Doug is the ride for everyone else going to the party, they all end up at the isolated make out spot. Good god! That means everyone is at lovers lane on the 13th anniversary of the murders and the killer's on the loose! What could possibly happen now?
There is an animosity between Michael and Mandy that is never explained. They each lost one parent in the Valentine murders, and it's rumored that they were cheating on their spouses. Mandy doesn't believe the rumors. Michael was told his father died from a heart attack and has never even heard the rumors. So it's not clear why they avoid each other.
The ending is so random and convoluted, what with multiple hooks, that even the surviving characters have to ask questions to explain this mess. You'd figure a killer with a hook would be terrifying, but he's more boring than anything else. And why does no one ever hold out a block of wood when someone with a hook slashes at you? Once that hook sinks into the wood, all he could do was clunk you on the head, rather than rip out your insides.
And is it ever a good idea to try to defend yourself by grabbing four knives? They're difficult to hold all at once, you look ridiculous, and it would be hard to hold them all and effectively use them.
You'll do a double take at the principal as she sometimes wears an obvious wig. Also Dr. Grefe is playing by the same guy who was Les Nessman on WKRP in Cincinnati.
The only reason to watch this one is that you've seen the other Valentine slashers as this is pretty dull.