Friday, March 1, 2013

Metal Storm: The Destruction of Jared Syn (1983)

When a crystal miner is murdered by the evil Jared Syn and his minions, his daughter Dhyana vows revenge.  With the help of our slightly boring hero Dogen and seeker Rhodes, Dyhana trails Syn to the Lost City where she is promptly kidnapped. Hurrah!

Part cyborg Baal commands the troops and sprays green acid during fights. The one eyed Hurok leads the Cyclopeans, who become friends with Dogen after he wins a competition and earns their respect.  This silly movie has Tim Thomerson, Richard Moll, and Kelly Preston in it.

This movie is like a combination of Mega Force and Mad Max. And to top it off, it's in 3D. So you'll see plenty of things pointing at the screen to remind you of that.  Unlike the title would lead you to believe, Syn is never actually destroyed.

Baal and his ...terrifying green acid spray.
Let me remind you this is in 3D.
Jared Syn and his silly high collared
outfit.  The chest bulges look like a face.
Hard to look evil on one of these silly sky bikes. They're
even lamer than the flying motorcycles in Mega Force.

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