Wednesday, May 22, 2013

Greystone Park (2012)

I don't know why I watch these crappy found footage movies. They're all the same and generally involve idiots wandering around a place they damn well shouldn't be. Yet for some reason I feel drawn to them - even though I hate them. I guess I keep hoping one will be good.

After meeting Alex at a dinner party where everyone talks about ghosts, Sean and his girlfriend Antonella decide to accompany Alex to the Greystone Asylum which is supposed to be haunted.  Oh kids, don't you know you should never go to an abandoned asylum with an idiot, especially one you just met. It's a bad idea.

The building still has electricity. Rooms on multiple floors are lit up and hallways tend to have flickering overhead lights. So is it really abandoned?  Because usually empty buildings don't leave their lights on.

They wander around, get lost, do stupid things, aren't quiet in the least even though they fear being discovered by security, hear noises, get scared, and speak uninteresting dialogue in the dark.

Sometimes Alex scares them, Antonella keeps wandering off, and Sean repeats her name so many times you'll hate it by the end of the film.  Sometimes they get possessed but they just look weird so it's no big deal.  They scream, the camera goes haywire, it's so dark you can't really see, and the camera is so close to the action that it isn't scary in the slightest.

To sum up - three idiots enter an abandoned asylum. Nothing happens until they disappear. The End. Oliver Stone has a cameo since he's Sean Stone's father. He also plays his father in the film.

Stupidest dialogue:
Alex - "If you see Devil worshippers, do NOT talk to them."

No comments: