Friday, May 10, 2013

The Ripper (1985)

Professor Richard Harwell is teaching a new class titled Famous Crime on Film.  He says it is sort of an experiment, but that's never really explained.  The small class has around nine students which seems way to small for a college class. Also how could a class where you watch movies and discuss crimes not fill up?

Steve and his girlfriend take the class because Steve had Harwell last semester and liked him as a professor.  Steve annoys Harwell by repeatedly calling the professor at home to remind him to watch horror movies on TV, and calling back after the movie to discuss it.

Harwell is dating the dance instructor.  We are treated to her class doing a dance routine to a 1980s song which is similar to a Bonnie Tyler song.  There are fog machines, shiny aerobic outfits, and leg warmers galore.

When Richard and his girlfriend got to an antique shop, Richard finds an ugly old ring which causes him to hallucinate.  Later he can't stop thinking about the ring. When he finds a drawing of it in a Ripper book, he decides he must have it.

Why do people always want to buy things that make them dizzy, confused, and cause disturbing hallucinations?  Why yes, I think I will purchase that big ugly ring that makes me hallucinate graphic murders of prostitutes.

When people start getting killed in town, the newspapers say it looks like a modern day Jack the Ripper.  Steve notices that Harwell is all of a sudden left handed, same as the Ripper, and that his ring matches the one in their Ripper textbook.

There are three killings in three days, coinciding with their class.  Yet Steve and his girlfriend decide to go parking in an isolated field with predictable results.  Really, if there's a killer in your town you may not want to go parking late at night.  

This movie is laughable and I really liked it. It's boring so I don't love it, but it's funny as hell.   Steve spends way too much time with his shirt off, Harwell has a collection of hideous sweaters,  his girlfriend doesn't have the body for spandex,  her dance class needs more practice, and everyone drinks Coke.

Co-starring Coke
The incredible synchronized dancers
Harwell and his girlfriend model their hideous sweaters
Oh no, this is not attractive at all.
The closest thing to nudity in this film? Steve's butt
Looks like an exciting class
The comedy stylings of....
Tom Savini... no!!!!

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