Wednesday, October 30, 2013

Hillside Cannibals (2006)

A group of teens head up into the mountains to go spelunking and camp outside the cave for the night. Unfortunately they chose to go spelunking (did they even bring any equipment?) right near a cave full of cannibals.

After killing or capturing all but one of the group, the cannibals thrill us with their lack of speech and limited movements.  Good god, this makes for a tough watch when most of the movie is looking at a girl wandering around alone, with the scenes only broken up by a stupid, creepy cannibals who make annoying grunting sounds.

Also of note is that this super old looking group of teens are actually of high school age which is determined when a Ranger recognizes the lone girl as the girl who ran away from her foster family.  To which she replies it's only got two months until she's 18.

Once our trusty Ranger gets her in his rangermobile and calms her down, his brilliant plan is for both of them to get out of the car and walk back to the scene of the crime, i.e. the cannibal bloodbath area.  Why wouldn't he call it in? Or if no phone, drive back to get some help?  Report it to someone. Don't just wander off into the rocks looking for the multiple murderers you're been warned about, and good god why did she willingly go with him?

This one is brutal - not for the victims but for the viewer -  and I'd recommend watching it in fast motion. You won't miss much since the cannibals don't talk anyway.

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